True Killer
by Thenandnow3434
Summary: Samuel Moriarty Kozik, Atlas, killed his fist man when he was fourteen years old, the man who killed his mother. Now at twenty four he has killed more men than Happy himself! All he feels however is that he is slowly killing himsef.


_Journal Entry _

_June 12, 2012 _

_Charming, California _

_I visited my mother's grave today and left her favorite flowers, Lilies. I was going to take Lilly with me but the recent events have left her tired and fragile and I didn't want to be the cause of any more pain for her. I am still angry when I see her grave but the anger inside of me has cooled over time numbing my heart enough to enable me mobile when I lift myself from the grass to leave. It has been exactly ten years since she was murdered in a hail of gunfire and In a week Is the anniversary of my first killing, the anniversary of the day I was no longer a scared child. I do not feel remorse for the death of Raymond Florez or any of the other bodies I have dropped since then but I do pity him and his ability to no longer feel pain after the bullet from my gun embedded itself in his head. Every day I miss my mother. I miss the way she used to hold me in her arms and reassure me that everything was going to be okay that even though things were scary if I just looked into her eyes by the time I looked away the monsters would be gone and my father would be there to hold us all. I miss the way she used to laugh and sing even though she couldn't carry a note but if she had recorded herself I would listen to that CD everyday in hopes that she would come dancing into the room singing into a wooden spoon like she had done so many years ago. Since she died my father and I have tried to be there for Lilly any time she needed us but sometimes we would fall flat when she needed a female influence. Gemma made up for that in any way she could, taking Lilly under her wing and becoming the mother like the mother that was taken from her when she was so young. My father and I however made sure she knew how to defend herself because being a SAMCRO girl was almost as dangerous as being a member. Being young in SAMCRO is also very difficult from what I've seen of the prospects even though I have never had to experience it firsthand. I had become a member at eighteen and the official tracker at the age of nineteen taking rightful seat at the table next to my father as the youngest member SAMCRO has ever patched in. I had been spilling blood for them however since I was fourteen and have dropped more bodies than the infamous Happy himself, much to his dismay but I am not proud of it nor am I cocky. Every man I drop looks like Raymond Florez to me and every time I kill him I feel a sense of closure all over again. I have never killed an innocent man though and I don't plan to. _

_I have to leave Charming in a week for Tacoma where my services are needed. I haven't been to Tacoma since I was fifteen when I murdered a rat inside the club. The only killing that still haunted me. The man's name was Finn Tate but when he was a part of the Tacoma Charter people called him Fish because he was from London and ate large amounts of Fish and Chips every chance he got, the difference however from him and everyone else though was he was my friend. He was ten years older than me but he never seemed to mind when I would follow him around the clubhouse or ask him to play pool with me, all that changed however when one night I caught him in the clubhouse armory with a camera. My father had told me to go get him a box of ammunition and without confrontation I did hoping that if I listened to him all night he might let me go do something with Fish later in the day. When I opened the door however I was greeted with the flash of a camera. There he was just standing there in the middle of the room snapping pictures of our guns. I stood there for what seemed like hours until he finally turned around and saw me the camera fell from his hands, he knew what he had done and the fear that crossed his face knew what was going to happen. Suddenly he sprang at me knocking me to the ground his hands automatically closing around my throat before he began to slowly drain the life out of me. Little did he know that tucked inside my waistband was a handgun that I had been brandishing for a year; little did he know however that he was going to die. I didn't want to kill him so I held my breath and I looked him in the eyes but the eyes I had looked into a thousand times before were not what I saw, I saw Raymond Florez. So I slipped the gun from my waist band and I shot him in the heart. The second man I have ever killed was probably the best friend I had ever had and he had betrayed our family. I was praised for it after a week of the club getting their thoughts strait on the matter and their feelings for Finn diminished. Since I couldn't patch in they gave me a SAMCRO ring in the shape of the reaper to go along with my Men of Mayhem ring. My father looked at me differently that day in a way he had never looked at me before. He didn't look at me with hate, malice or pride he looked at me with pity. Pity a word that I hadn't known the definition of three years earlier was the look he gave me and I hated him for it because the rest of the club followed his lead. Naturally I drew away from them for a long time and buried myself in books and school work until they began to call on me for club favors. Soon after my first organized track and kill I was no longer known as Samuel Moriarty Kozik, the new name that was bestowed upon me was Atlas because I had come to know every road and back road from Texas to Washington. _

_Over my short twenty four years I have experienced more loss and heartache than any old man. I have killed more people and loved less people than I care to recall. My little sister Lillian Rosemary Kozik is the only reason I truly have to get up in the morning any longer. Every time I tell her "I love you" or "I'm here for you" it seems like I am making up for every bad thing I have ever done because they never seemed to touch her. I know she knows what I've done but in the ways she acts around me you would never be able to tell. Every time she tells me "I love you Sammy" or "Don't forget to hug me goodbye big brother" I know that no matter what happens I will always have her. So as I placed the lilies upon my mother's gravestone I began to tell her just what a wonderful young women she was becoming and how when a date comes to pick her up dad and I question him immensely before we allow Lilly to get into his car, which we still aren't comfortable with. I imagined her laughter at that but it wasn't the same, it would never be the same again but I am okay with that. All I need is my sister, my father and my club and I will make it out alright. _

I closed my journal and slipped it into the saddle bag on my motorcycle that was leaning next to me as I intern leaned against a giant oak tree in a park I didn't know the name of. Sighing softly to myself I turned my baseball cap around on my head so that the bill was forward to fight off the soft wind that caressed my tanned cheek. Days like this were a rarity in my life, days like this didn't just happen uninterrupted so I decided that I would lay here until a cause worthy enough for my attention would draw me away from relaxation and the good dreams that were more of a rarity than these days.

My father had taken our little family to a place like this when I was just a little boy, too young to even remember but little bits and pieces came back here and there. My mother and fathers smiles a major part of them. They would smile and I would smile and we would laugh for no reason at all.

The vibration of my phone against my leg awoke me from my dozing state. Half heartedly I reached into my pocket flipping it open and pressing it against my ear without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I grumbled into the phone as I wiped the sleep out of my eyes feeling as groggy and unrested as I sounded.

"Sammy I need you" a light voice whimpered into the phone almost inaudible over the loud music behind her.

Suddenly I was on my feet and was straddling my motorcycle furiously kicking the kickstand back and revving the engine. My phone was pressed tightly against my ear as Lilly cried into it her words cut off by every heart racking sob.

"Lilly I need you to tell me where you are" I stressed as I braced my boot clad feet on the ground to push off when she told me exactly where she was.

"I'm at the old warehouse on fifth street" she whimpered before adding "I took something and I don't know what it is" she blubbered and I finally heard just how raspy and strained her breathe was. Desperation spread through my face lighting my chest on fire.

"I'm coming to get you Lilly stay where you are" I begged at the end hoping she wouldn't stumble into a dark alleyway or even worse into the arms of a man with more than dishonorable intentions.

"Come quick Sammy" she whispered into the receiver her voice breaking whatever part of my heart healed since her accident six months ago.

"Don't worry Lilly I'm coming" and with that I closed the phone and slipped it into my pocket before pushing my feet off on the ground and propelling my Harley forward hoping, praying that I would reach my sister before I lost her, something I'm sure would kill me faster than any bullet or slash of a knife. 


End file.
